We are terribly unhappy with our service for my oxygen. While we await approval for a portable condenser, I am attached by a long line to a refrigerator-sized one. I walk through a doorway the line catches and jerks me back, or one of the dogs step on it. Always there is a reminder that I am not free to move freely about the cabin. I know what dogs tied to trees feel like.
I hate this thing, but I like breathing. Every day since it’s arrival, we’ve had to call for service.
Today I felt a little better than yesterday, so I tried to do some normal things I haven’t tried since getting out of the hospital. And repeat a few I had.
I got my shower in first. Then emptied and filled the dishwasher. I tended to my 12 orchids, watering, removing dead leaves.
Then I drug my hose outside and cut some zinnias. This helps them rebloom before it gets cold, and it brings some color inside.
The final zinnia I needed to cut was about an inch and a half too far for my hose to reach. So frustrating. But, I pulled the hose off quickly, snipped the orange bloom from the step, and made it back. It’s not like I will suffocate in that short a time. But it feels like it.
Then I cut back some cowpens to add to the zinnias.
I was determined to eat more food today. My weight has dropped to 119 and it goes down everyday. I have no appetite at all, but I need to eat something. So, I did. I even cooked Thai food for dinner and ate 4 vegan dumplings.
Someone asked whether I allowed people to tour our property. It made me sad because I had such big plans for our place – Sugarberry Slope – as a place of learning, exploration, and retreat.
Not just sad, but mad. I just have to survive to achieve that goal. I just have to see Sugarberry reach the vision.
But I have to survive tomorrow first, then the day after that, and so on.
One day at a time.
Please check out my other blog all about our life on our homestead and apiary – https://sugarberryslope.com/sugarberry-buzz-blog
