On My Heart (A Series)… A Thankful Heart

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It is Thanksgiving 2023. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. There are no gifts to buy, and not really any decorating to do. Sure, some over achievers like to put up fall themed decorations, autumn colors, some pumpkins, a scare crow or a hay bale or two, but those items can usually be carried over from September.

Thanksgiving is about counting our blessings. Okay, let’s get real, Thanksgiving is equally about the delicious food that, for some reason we love so much we only eat it on holidays. I was asked yesterday how me, a vegan, can possibly enjoy Thanksgiving – no turkey, no ham, no giblet gravy? For me, the Thanksgiving meal is the side dishes. It always has been.

At the Thanksgivings of my youth, the turkey was normally dry, the ham too salty and fatty, and putting either on my plate meant less room for the side items, including my favorite, Mom’s sage cornbread dressing. I loved it so much. I still do. I make a vegan version now and everyone eats it without complaint. I never measure the sage, I just keep adding until it smells right and all evil spirits are cast out.

Then there were the sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, and the cranberry marshmallow salad we just referred to as the “pink stuff.” My Aunt Joann always brought a delicious tabouli salad. My grandmother Exie’s rolls were a practically a meal all by themselves. There was usually a green bean casserole, which I never cared for and still don’t. Someone always put out a plate of celery sticks with pimento cheese spread on it. This was the super smooth pimento cheese spread from the tiny glass jar, not the chunky plastic tub kind which was for sandwiches. Why are there two kinds of pimento cheese spread, anyway? Thanksgiving for me has always been about the sides. I love desserts, but given the choice, I am picking sides. I am thankful that there are so many vegan ingredient options in 2023 that I can make all my favorite side dishes vegan and they are delicious.

September 25, 2023, I had open heart surgery to replace my atrial heart valve. The past two months in recovery have been very hard. There were times I didn’t know if I would survive it, and times when I wasn’t sure I wanted to. But here I am, and I have a lot to be thankful for.

I am thankful that advanced medical science made it possible for me to have had this surgery at all. I mean, just think about it. They cut my chest open, sawed through my rib cage, took my heart out , stopped it from beating, replaced the bad valve with one donated by a cow, put it back in my chest, restarted my heart, wired my rib cage closed, and sewed me up. There was a time in my life that this would have been science fiction, and I would have eventually died, drowning in my own bodily fluids. I now know why my doctor wanted to wait until the surgery was absolutely necessary. The longer I waited, the better options available to me. I am thankful to him for his wisdom. I am thankful to the cow for her sacrifice.

I am thankful to Charles for being here for me every step of the way. Even though our relationship was very new when I got my diagnosis, and no one would have blamed him for walking away (in fact, there were people who advised him thus), he stuck by me. I can’t believe how well he took care of me in the weeks after the surgery, and how he continues to take care of me. Actually, that is not true – I can believe it. That is the kind of man he is, and the kind of care I have come to expect.

My kids, Piglet, extended family, my close friends – all those who were there for me. To those that wouldn’t let me give up – you know who you are. Thank you all so much. And to those of you who find it hard to say “I love you,” I have saved your texts to prove you have it in you, and I love you, too.

My employer’s basic benefits package included Short Term Disability, at no cost to me. I have never elected disability plans at any job I have ever had. I didn’t even know I had this one until I needed it. What a blessing to know that there would still be money coming in while I was out of work. This helped ease any financial burden we might have experienced, so thank you to my company. My co-workers who stepped up to make sure my work was done, and did not call or email one time complaining or asking for help – you all are rockstars and I owe you so much. The peace of mind you gave me was priceless.

I am thankful for cardiac rehabilitation, which is a chance for me to get stronger and increase my stamina. The staff at cardiac rehab are kind, generous, and funny. We have a great time, for one hour, three days a week. I am thankful to the other patients I have met there, as they are all in different stages of their recoveries from massive heart attacks, bypass surgeries, heart transplants, and, like me, valve replacements. They inspire me; they are champions.

While I was extremely impatient in my recovery, and tried very hard to beat the 10-12 week estimate that my doctor said it would take, I am thankful that my recovery wasn’t longer. I had an appointment with my doctor yesterday. He released me to return to work on December 4, which is 10 weeks from the date of my surgery. He was right in his estimation. He has been right on most things. He said, “You have your spark back. I tried to tell you that there was light at the end of the tunnel, but you wouldn’t believe me.” I reminded him that he has never actually been in the tunnel, and the tunnel is extremely dark and not straight. The light was not visible until I reached the final curve. He said that was an interesting perspective and one that he would have to remember to share with new patients. I hope he does.

I am thankful to my heart for taking me through these past 10+ years, limping onward with a bad valve. That poor little muscle worked so hard, rarely going below 96 beats per minute, until it was time to bring in the new value. Now my heart has responded so well that my resting heart rate is in the 80 beats per minute range, sometimes dipping into the 70s. What an amazing organ!

I am thankful to the rest of my body and to me for not just giving up. After my diagnosis of heart failure, I could have simply gone home and become a couch potato. I was tempted, briefly, to do just that. I was told that nothing I could do would reverse it; so why even try? But diet and exercise played a huge role in how long my heart was able to carry me until it was time to replace that valve. It also increased my odds of surviving the surgery, and has reduced my recovery time over someone with less healthy habits. So, good job, me!

I am thankful for my home and all that it is. This was the best place in the world for my recovery. How great is God’s timing to let me be here when the time came? I would have been miserable recovering in that dark windowless rental house in a city subdivision. But here at Sugarberry, sitting on the porch or watching the wildlife out the windows, finding small things I can do, spreading seeds or pruning the roses, or just watching all the lovely the birds, has healed me so much faster that I believe would have been possible otherwise. The air that so easily fills my lungs now is so much sweeter out here.

I am thankful for it all; every bit of it.

Plus pie.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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