Dogged By My Accountability Partner.


Most self-help gurus, weight loss or exercise plans strongly suggest getting an accountability partner. Someone who will tirelessly cheer me on, check in every day, did you walk? Did you write your 7 pages this morning? Did you drink all 90 ounces of water like your doctor instructed? Did you take your heart pills?  An accountability partner to keep you on tract and really make your goals a reality.  Accountability partner. What a sucky job that is. Who would want to be one? Nobody, that’s who. I certainly don’t want to hassle someone every day to get their goals achieved. I have enough trouble achieving my own.

Oh, I have tried to do the whole accountability partner thing. I have had many of them over the years. My greatest accountability needs are connected to exercise. I don’t like doing it any more than the next rational person. Anyone who says they like exercise for the sake of exercise, is either a liar or insane. That’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it. So, I need someone to motivate me or at least keep boredom at bay by joining me on my walk or group class. Here is how it usually goes down.

Me: I should really start exercising more. I’ve gotten out of the habit.

Her: Me too.

Me: There are free yoga classes every morning at the Civic Center. Care to join me?

Her: That’s a great idea. I would love that. I’ve always wanted to try yoga. Seems like a great first step into fitness

Me: OK, meet there tomorrow at 8:30.

Her: Great! I’ll be there.

Day One:

Her: I’m here! I’ve always wanted to take yoga. I’m so excited.

Me: Me, too. This’ll be great! I need an accountability partner to keep me focused and cut down all my excuses.

Her: Oh, you can count on me. I am all in.

Day Two:

Her: Wow, I didn’t realize how intense yoga is. I’m a little stiff this morning.

Me: Yes, most people don’t realize how great a work out it is.

Her: Yes, its… its great.

Day Three:

Her (via text): Hey, running late. Start without me.

Me: OK.

Her (arriving): OMGee. I AM so effing sore. I’m not sure I’m going to make it.

Me: Just do what you can. Moving will help the stiffness.

Her: OK… can you help me down onto my mat?

Day Four:

Her (via text):  My kid is sick, I’m not going to make it. So sorry. Tomorrow for sure.

Day Five:

Her (via text): Oh, shit I overslept I’m not going to make it.

Day Six:

Me (three hours after class, via text): Did you forget yoga?

Her: OMGee! So sorry, I didn’t realize it was weekends, too. Totally slipped my mind.

Me: Yes, every day. See you tomorrow.

Her: Sure thing.  Absolutely.

Day Seven:

Me (four hours after class, via text): So… I’m guessing you’re not interested in continuing the yoga?

Her: I’m so sorry. I found Jesus and my Sunday mornings are dedicated to church.

Me: Oh, that’s fair. See you tomorrow.

Her: Absolutely. I’ll be there with bells on.

Day Eight:

Me (to myself): I’m not texting her. I’m texting her.

Day Nine.

Both of us silently agree that she’s never showing up to yoga again.

It almost always turns out when I get an accountability partner, I find myself in a position of trying to motivate her to do her damned job and make me accountable.  I get life happens. Situations change. I walk too fast, yada yada yada. Then there is resentment and finally she stops taking my calls or responding to texts and eventually I have to find someone else to irritate into irritating me … it’s an imperfect system to say the least.

This morning I realized I finally have the perfect accountability partner for my daily two mile walk. Her name is Myrna and she is everything an accountability partner should be.  When 6:00 a.m. rolls round she is in my face literally barking at me to get my shoes on, put on that sports bra and let’s GO! She is excited about the walk. I need an accountability partner who is excited about the process. I never have to wait on her. I hate waiting on people. She never stands me up, so my trigger of being forgotten doesn’t lead to ugly thoughts and self-loathing.  She dances around like we are going to get ice cream instead of what we are really doing, which is walking the same path we walked yesterday. But she’s the type of gal who gets excited over the possibility of what the walk might bring, a cat running across the road, perhaps, or a bunny hiding in the brush. It is a win-win situation for us, really. She gets to see the world outside the house and yard, and I have company on my walk. She gets the exercise she needs to keep her joints mobile and so do I.  I’ve waited all my adult life for an exercise accountability partner, and I have found her. My accountability partner dogs me every day. I highly recommend getting one just like her. But, be careful what you wish for, Because, honestly though, she can sometimes be a real bitch about it.

One comment on “Dogged By My Accountability Partner.

  • susan ballard , Direct link to comment

    I thought Rudy got to go also, or is he more like the occassional friend, lol. his legs are short you know. I think we are only accountable to ourselves and our partner. Thats my story and i’m sticking to it . Keep it up !!

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